In this personal blog, I reflect on the passing of Tammie and share my thoughts and feelings about coping with grief and loss.
I don’t want to write a post.
I want to replay the bit when Tammie said it was a bear walking down Market.
I was the bear.
I had on a ridiculous brown fake fur jacket because it was cold outside. We were on location at Harris Stowe doing a road show. Tony and Tammie were in a trailer and I was outside doing “producery” things…looking crazy in that horrible coat.
I want to hear her laugh while telling the story about when she was young and her step dad played that Shirley Caesar song, I think it was “No Charge”, when she would complain about housework.
One of my favorites was when she shared how her mom, Ms. Diane, always had her back no matter Tammie’s antics. She shared how Ms. Diane went with her to confront a bogus fortune teller to get her money back.
I don’t want to write a sad post about Tammie.
I want to remember her beaming about how much she loved her big sister, Kelly. And remember her dimpled smile and pregnant belly full with Meadow as she and Tony rode down Market as Grand Marshals during the May Day parade. So St. Louis.
I want to remember the time she went off on an AE on my behalf because he didn’t pay me like he promised.
It’s one thing to KNOW something is going to happen but another thing when it ACTUALLY happens.
My God.
Arika Parr
Producer, The Tony Scott Show with Tammie Holland
#griefjourney #selfreflection
