Will Downing reflects on the loss of his daughter to suicide, sharing the struggles of her mental health and creating a touching tribute to her memory.
Will Downing and his late daughter Siobhan, courtesy of Blackdoctor.org
Will Downing, the smooth, baritone voice singer who has been creating his brand of sophisticated soul for nearly 40 years, is remembering his beautiful dedication to one of his daughters whom he lost by suicide almost exactly a year ago.
In 2023, his daughter Aron Siobhan committed suicide. She was bipolar, had depression and some schizophrenia.
Months after her death, Downing and his family still don’t know why she took her life.
“She left a note,” says Will. “But it was very, like, cryptic, you know what I mean? It might have made perfect sense to her, but for those who are left behind, it’s like, ‘Well, I’m going to need a little more than that.”
“There’s certainly a slight guilt factor. Where you look at yourself, and you say, ‘What did I miss? What didn’t I say? Where did I go wrong?’ You know, that sort of thing. And it’s just something we’re all just going to have to live with. It’s unfortunate, but it’s kind of the way it is.”
As both a grieving father and a dedicated musician, Downing wanted to use his gifts to help others who may be struggling with mental health. The result is the new song, “Till We Meet Again.” The very personal composition is both a parental expression of exasperation (“I wish that you could tell me what the hell was on your mind”) and one of hopeful resignation (“You know that we love you but God’s gonna hug you”). But most of all, it is a message of hope to those who may be suffering as his daughter did.
“The song, for those who haven’t heard it, is basically a conversation that I’ve had with all of my children, especially my daughter, [Aron] Siobhan,” explains Will. “On many occasions, she would call me and say that she was about to do something. And I’d be like, ‘You know, come on. What are you doing?’”
“Sometimes the conversations turn into arguments, but it was still out of love. Then when it was all said and done, we hugged it out, ‘I love you. But you know, I think you’re about to make a mistake, or you might want to rethink this. Maybe there’s another way of doing it.’”
“The first opening line of the song is, ‘I wish you could tell me what the hell was on your mind.’ You know, the last time I talked to you, you seemed like you were doing alright. And I’ve had that conversation with her a million times. She loved tattoos. She’d be like, ‘I’m gonna get a tattoo on my thigh.’ And I’m like, ‘Why?’”
“One time she came to visit me. She had a tattoo on the back of her neck that had her birth date on it. I said, ‘Well, why did you do that?’ (She answered) ‘Well, just in case someone asked me what my birthday was.’”
“‘Okay, Siobhan, when’s your birthday?’ And then she tells me the date, and I go, ‘Okay, that ends that conversation.’ You could’ve saved yourself like $250 or $500. Like, ‘Why didn’t you just come talk to me about it? And then she’d look at me and say, ‘I guess you’re right.’ I’d say, ‘Ahh, give me a hug. I love you. Let’s keep moving.’”
“So that’s, that’s what the song is; it’s me talking with her, and her mother feels the same way. I was having a conversation with her, and this time, you know, obviously, we can’t bring her back. We just wish that she would have spoken with us before doing what she did.”
“Unfortunately, it’s something that, as parents and her family — her sisters and brother — that we have to live with not knowing. That’s the hard part.”
“And then for other people, to let folks who hear the song who might be going through a similar problem, whether on their own or with a family member or someone they know. It’s a wake-up call to make sure that you stay in communication with your loved ones.”
Suicide Warning Signs
According to SAMHSA, the causes of suicide are complex and determined by multiple combinations of factors, such as mental illness, substance misuse, painful losses, exposure to violence, and social isolation.
Suicide Warning Signs for Adults
Risk is greater if a behavior is new or has increased, and if it seems related to a painful event, loss, or change.
- Talking about or making plans for suicide.
- Acting anxious or agitated; behaving recklessly.
- Talking about being a burden to others. Talking about feeling trapped or in unbearable pain.Increasing the use of alcohol or drugs.Talking about feeling hopeless or having no reason to liveSleeping too little or too much. Withdrawing or feeling isolated. Showing rage or talking about seeking revenge.Displaying extreme mood swings.
- Suicide Warning Signs for Youth
- It’s time to take action if you notice these signs in family or friends:
- Talking about or making plans for suicide.
- Expressing hopelessness about the future.
- Displaying severe/overwhelming emotional pain or distress.
- Showing worrisome changes in behavior, particularly in combination with the warning signs above, including significant:
- Withdrawal from or changing social connections/situations.
- Changes in sleep (increased or decreased).
- Anger or hostility that seems out of character or out of context.
- Recent increased agitation or irritability.
- Who to Call
- The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is a free, confidential 24/7 phone line that connects individuals in crisis with trained counselors across the United States. There are also specialized lines for both Veterans and the LGBTQIA+ population.
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