Discover the untold truths behind the late Prince’s legacy as we navigate the painful divide between his iconic status and the abuse accusations.
In light of the recent release of Ezra Edelman’s Netflix documentary on Prince, which explores disturbing allegations of abuse toward women, Ayo Yetunde—therapist, theologian, and author of the forthcoming book Dearly Beloved: Prince, Spirituality, and This Thing Called Life—provides a thoughtful reflection on the complexities fans may feel. Yetunde writes, “The private Prince and the public Prince, like his ‘Something in the Water’ song goes, did not compute in this fan’s mind. Now, we are forced once again, to grapple with the dissonance between adoring a celebrity, and wrestling with an accusation we’d rather ignore, maybe even try to ignore, but cannot. This dissonance is familiar territory.”
Op-Ed: Reconciling the Private and Public Lives of Prince, and Ourselves
By Pamela Ayo Yetunde, Th.D., author of Dearly Beloved: Prince, Spirituality, and This Thing Called Life
I am a pastoral counselor and author. My work involves meeting with clients in private, with the promise of confidentiality, to explore the impact their religious and spiritual beliefs and practices have on their lives. This work is so private, at times it feels clandestine even before “the eyes of God”. Some of my work is very public because I also write about spirituality. I am the author of a forthcoming book on the musical sensation, Prince, and his theologies.
Reflect
As someone who works in private and public spaces, with a book about Prince that hasn’t yet been released, imagine my surprise when my phone began to “blow up” after people read Sasha Weiss’s article in The New York Times about Ezra Edelman’s Netflix Prince documentary facing significant legal challenges from Prince’s estate! People contacted me because, according to the article, Prince was accused of repeatedly punching one of his former girlfriends in the face. The private Prince and the public Prince, like his “Something in the Water” song goes, did not compute in this fan’s mind. Now, we are forced once again, to grapple with the dissonance between adoring a celebrity, and wrestling with an accusation we’d rather ignore, maybe even try to ignore, but cannot. This dissonance is familiar territory.
I experienced the disturbance when I was writing about Prince and reflecting on some of the same songs in Weiss’s article deemed antisemitic. I struggled with how to write about one of my favorite artists, a man I consider to be as religiously prophetic as any gospel artist I know, and his zig zag of a spiritual journey from open and integral to Biblical literalist. I empathize with those who are now unsure as to whether they should continue upholding Prince as a sacred being, or cancel him as just another misogynistic narcissist. There is another alternative.
Reckon
In the article, drummer and Prince fan Questlove, who had the privilege, if you want to call it such, of seeing the documentary, allowed his feelings of rage and anguish to manifest, talked to his therapist, and through this process began the psychological work of reorganizing the disparate puzzle pieces of Prince into a coherent whole. This is no easy task, especially when two of the puzzle pieces are religiosity and willful sinfulness – Prince’s central theological work throughout his recording career.
Many of my clients have struggled with the private and public parts of their lives. They know, we know, that there is incongruity between our many selves, egos, and parts, but we tend to forget this reality of being human when we become enamored by our celebrity crushes. Prince, publicly, gave his fans what we wanted – and we did not demand an angel. Should we have? We gave him what he wanted – international stardom and wealth. Could we have done otherwise?
Those of us in professional counseling professions know that fandom and stardom do not erase the scars of trauma, loss, and grief. Wealth does not change the fundamental nature of our being. Religious belief does not replace the work. Still, for people who Prince hurt and didn’t feel they had a recourse because of his fame, I truly sympathize with their hurt and possible “entrapment by beguile”. With so many stories of beloved celebrities privately hurting those around them while publicly making the rest of us feel good, I feel something akin to what Questlove expressed – a fragmentation of an image and frankly, of an idol, that is being realigned as my body quakes in the aftermath of a mild shock.
Realign
Realigning our images of idols can result in an intentional compartmentalization whereby we separate the man and his character flaws from the awe-striking art he created. This kind of compartmentalization is also a way of acknowledging the pain people felt and still feel while honoring the artist as talented, but without the deification that sometimes leads to creating the invisible shield of protection that deified idols seem to have. Let’s be clear, there is no invisible shield, but there is the threat of retaliation, and the fear of not being believed.
Oscar-winning documentarian Ezra Edelman has made another epic film about another man of international interest. Given Edelman’s proven brilliance and years of work on this project, combined with Prince’s proven brilliance (with more of this theological thinking and art to be revealed), Netflix’s investment, and Prince’s estate’s interest in protecting his legacy, I have no doubt that these parties will resolve their disputes in their mutual interests, but what about my fan interest?
Reconcile
As a pastoral counselor, I want the world to see how the private and public lives of our idols are too often twisted, versus aligned. In private, public figures would do well to use their privacy for healing the pressures of being in the public eye. While in the public eye, our idols should remember that fan adoration does not replace the psycho-spiritual work necessary to heal deep-seated wounds. How many times have we known of public religious figures not practicing in private what they preach in public view? Too many times! Yet, this lesson never stales.
Word has it that Edelman has masterfully crafted a film worthy of Prince’s talents. Maybe with this film, we can better appreciate how private and public-facing personas contribute to a fuller sense of self while also creating dissonances that we need to reconcile. A film like this one, with the potential to be seen by hundreds of millions of people worldwide, has the potential to inform us of ways to protect our beloved idols, ourselves, and each other when we begin to glorify and anoint unsaintly saints. I hope this film sees the light of day.
Pamela Ayo Yetunde, ThD, is a pastoral counselor, educator, and founder of the Theology of Prince project at United Theological Seminary of the Twin Cities. She is the author of Casting Indra’s Net, named one of the best spirituality books in 2023 by Spirituality and Practice, and coeditor of Black and Buddhist, winner of the Nautilus Gold Book Award. Her work has been featured in Lion’s Roar, Spirituality and Practice, and Spirituality and Health, among many other outlets. In 2022, Yetunde was named an Outstanding Woman in Buddhism by the International Women’s Meditation Center Foundation. She lives in Chicago.
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