Prison Views: Breaking the cycle of abuse

Either the abusive person will be separated or abused person will lose their life when the abuse goes too far.

Karsten Winegeart

Here is another voice from behind the walls of Jefferson City’s correctional center. From time to time we welcome prisoners the opportunity to lend their thoughts to our readers.Editor.

All aduse is violence, no matter whether its financial abuse or extreme child abuse and anything in between. It is easy to stick our heads in the sand about the abuse we and others suffer. The most common enter personal self-justification, is its not as bad as it sounds or its the first time in a long time. When encountering or experiencing any form of abuse, it will end in only one of two ways, if its not confronted and addressed.

Either the abusive person will be separated or abused person will lose their life when the abuse goes too far. Abuse will never deescalate on its own accord and only get more intense and more aggressive over time. An abuser has to isolate their mark or victim first and make all kinds of manipulative reasons to cut down on association.

That is because an abuser does not want their course of abuse to see the light of day. The minute that an abuser is exposed to the light they know their abuse will come to an end. The increase in abuse reaches a pivotal point of when the victim is seen as something instead of someone.

This can be noticed in how the abuser speaks to and about the person they are abusing. The driving force behind an abusers actions are shame, embarrassment, insecurities and fear of exposure. To break this cycle of abuse, the first thing that has to be done, is to break the silence.

By breaking the silence, the hidden abuse can be brought forward for people involve and close to the situation to get involved. The last thing an abuser wants, is for the victim to find help and support to empower them to get their strength back.

Often times, victims feel embarrassed and ashamed that they have allowed themselves to end up being abused. This arises from the fear of being seen as weak and others for being dominated and it feels normal to keep it a secret.

As more people learn about the abuse, the more they will begin to rally around the abused person. The more the silence is broken, the more the abused person will feel supported and empowered. The more the victim of abuse realizes that they have nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about.

This is the beginning of an spiritual awakening for the victims humanity, that the abuser is the only one to have anything to be ashamed of and embarrassed about. In the course of breaking the silence and surrounding the person with support, it is important to involve the community and professional counselors or therapist.

It is hard to break the cycles involved in generational abuse, because the grooming starts from birth and the whole family reinforces the secrecy and silence. Some family secrets are worse and more dangerous damaging than a substance abuse problem.

It causes and creates a lot of counter productive and dysfunctional character traits like poor grades in school, poor job performance, inability to commit to long term relationships, and anti social behaviors with a lot of depression and anxiety. Generational abuse is layered with a group type of family unity and identity with the aggressive abusive behavior. Again, the beginning of breaking the cycle of abuse is to break the silence that feeds the fear and powerlessness that abuse creates.


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